Let me just say this first: I like Stephen King's work. I really do. I pick up a nice, thick tome of his every now and again when I'm ready to embark on a nice, long journey with the printed word. And he does have a way with words, quite frequently; I'll make a case for IT being one of my favorite books of all time, and one of the best I've read.
HOWEVER.
After having recently slogged, often joyfully, often painfully, through The Dark Tower with Detta/Odetta/Susannah, and having recently started watching the TV adaptation of The Stand, and being familiar with Mr. King's work in general, it is blatantly obvious that the poor man does not currently, probably never has, and perhaps never will, know any black people at all. None. And certainly not with any kind of intimacy.
Stephen King does not have any black friends. Otherwise they would likely have taken him gently aside and explained to him, in kind and soulful terms, with the patience and folksy wisdom displayed by all of the Super-Duper Magic Negroes present in his works, that, well...we don't sound like that.
So here's my pitch: Stephen King, if you're ever open to it, and if you haven't already gotten a million similar suggestions, I will be your Black Friend*. If you feel you've got enough friends already, and don't want to add another to your roster (I know how you like your privacy, and I agree with that wholeheartedly), I will, for a modest fee, at the very least be your, I dunno, "Urban Marketing Consultant."
Just...please, stop making us sound like that.
* It should be duly noted that I am willing to also provide this service to any and all random melanin-challenged, Anglo- and/or Euro-American, or otherwise "Caucasian" folks on a case-by-case basis, with an hourly rate applying, willing to barter.
No comments:
Post a Comment